Sometimes the whole recovery thing just feels impossible. It made sense before but now, it's just a lot, there's so much to think about and so much to do - and you are just... well, you're just here all over again, nothing has changed and you have no idea what you're doing.
It is so fucking hard. Where you are now is so fucking hard.
If you are trying to make big changes and you're in early recovery, then feeling overwhelmed, feeling helpless, feeling that you need some sort of urgent relief... all of these feelings are totally normal. And I know exactly how frustrating and unhelpful it is to hear that. Because who gives a fuck if it's normal, right? If it's too hard, it's too hard.
Yep. You're right. I can't tell you anything that will fix those feelings. I can tell that they will pass. I can tell you that you don't have to feel good about this. You don't have to know what you're doing or how it's going to work. You don't have to be hopeful or believe that you're capable of being a better person. You don't have to plan to leave your partner or ditch your friends. You don't have to swear off alcohol for life. You don't have to fix this problem, or know how to fix this problem, or even start thinking about how you might fix this problem. You don't even have to worry about whether you are going to drink tomorrow.
All you have to do is not drink today. Just for now. And when the afternoon turns into evening, don't wait for the thinking to compound or for the exponential storm of feelings that comes with the night. Just keep it simple, have something to eat and get your head on the pillow. That's all.
There is so little you have to do.
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